The Chaos of Moving House

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This has been the most convoluted & long-winded move I’ve made since changing country/city… & I’m not entirely sure even those times were this complex. Every spanner we could have been thrown, has been!

The new house has required so much cleaning (seriously…. 4 bottles of Sugar Soap, plus oven cleaner, Ajax, Finish, Jif, Dettol, bi-carb soda, & most recently the loan of a high pressure cleaner), but I think there’s an end in sight finally. One of the bathrooms is almost finished – just one section of floor, & the vanity left to go. The kitchen is almost done, but that’s like the layers of an Ogre – each time we think we’ve scrubbed it to clean, we discover there is still more to go. The smell in the cupboards is almost gone.

Image: The gunk from the kitchen bench

This is what we scraped off the kitchen bench. After it had been alternately Sugar Soaped & Ajaxed using a heavy duty green scourer. Yep, we ran a razorblade across it.

We’re also about a third of the way through the blinds. I swear, if I so much as see a person try to light up a cigarette in or around this property I will boot them so hard to the curb it isn’t funny. Spending whole days on your hands & knees while scrubbing nicotine out of blinds is not my idea of how to spend a long weekend. Gross is the understatement of the last two centuries.

That brown line is nicotine, where it has built up over time at the top of the blind when rolled.

That brown line is nicotine, where it has built up over time at the top of the blind when rolled.

And the glorious marks on this blind are a mixture of nicotine, food, oil, & mould.  We need to clean this one a third time – that black strip along the very bottom of the blind, where the gunk has pooled, still won’t budge. It’s quite obvious that this is the blind from the kitchen, beside the stove top, above the worst part of the bench (the part that is still not clean after 7 attempts).

And the glorious marks on this blind are a mixture of nicotine, food, oil, & mould. We need to clean this one a third time – that black strip along the very bottom of the blind, where the gunk has pooled, still won’t budge. It’s quite obvious that this is the blind from the kitchen, beside the stove top, above the worst part of the bench (the part that is still not clean after 7 attempts).

The electrical work is in progress, & is probably over halfway finished. That moment when our sparky climbed out of the ceiling & goes, “This was definitely not done by a sparky. Home job anyone?” & showed us the cable & its mangled connector. Just because Bunnings sells it, doesn’t mean you should do it yourself. Wow.

Ken being awesome. (Yes, this is the same bearded gent pictured with the TARDIS, & who captivated a gallery of people in naught but his toolbelt at the Body Right Exhibition in 2014)

Ken being awesome.
(Yes, this is the same bearded gent pictured with the TARDIS on my business card, & who captivated a gallery of people in naught but his toolbelt at the Body Right Exhibition in 2014 – not just a pretty face beard)

Don’t get me started on the Foxtel connection. Let’s just say I was blown away when Kenny told us that it was the normal ‘standard’ of work their installers do. For the cost of Foxtel, I find that disgusting. We had raw cables coming out of one wall, earthing into a power point. Not even kidding. Then there was the other cable they ran on the outside of an internal wall & double sided taped to the wall, before covering it in a rectangular plastic conduit. Normal.

But everything that Kenny finds, he laughs about. All the dodgy wiring is being sorted & our own wiring is going in. The man is amazing. And once he is finished, we will have gigabit Ethernet throughout the house, access to television signal, & enough power points to be part of this century.

Gigabit Ethernet

The wall repairs & painting are done. Frank & his teams at Jim’s Professional Painting did a fantastic job, & had everything done in a couple of days. Literally.

Bedroom 4, where the chips were so deep they kept going through the plaster & hit brick.

Bedroom 4, where the chips were so deep they kept going through the plaster & hit brick.

Bedroom 2, with a semi-detached cornice & more chips, cracks... & footprints on the ceiling (spider pig!).

Bedroom 2, with a semi-detached cornice & more chips, cracks… & footprints on the ceiling (spider pig!).

After Kenny sunk the external conduit into the wall where it should have been put, Frank's painters made it look like it had never been there (aside from the holes awaiting points)

After Kenny sunk the external conduit into the wall where it should have been put, Frank’s painters made it look like it had never been there (aside from the holes awaiting points).  Note also that the skirting boards, cornices, & ceiling are white in this photo…. as opposed to the mild brown nicotine they were previously.

Now we just have to get around the fact that furniture is not indoors on account of it not fitting (why does there seem to be no actual standard for heights & widths?). There is still some furniture & a number of boxes at the old place… & there is nowhere to move it into here on account of the cupboards & bookcases that have moved across being forced to lie on their sides out-of-use. I feel like putting Out of Order labels on things, with ridiculous cartoony designs on them to lighten the mood.

The only things unpacked are SES gear, bedding, & food – the latter of which was only recent because it took a while to get the pantry clean (there are some things not worth shortcutting. Ever.) The computers were no exception – even now. But the desks (surprisingly, & with a fair amount of effort & dismantling first) fit down the corridor, & our office is at least mapped out, though not ready for use yet.

Not even the camera gear has been unpacked! I have spent the last few weeks running with only a 17-50mm F/2.8 lens, & one [thankfully large] memory card. Some days I’ve only had my phone camera.

There is no Optus reception. At all. Well… there’s a funny little spot in the front of the house if you stand on your head with your toe on your nose….. But I’m not ignoring people. I’m not. There’s just nothing out here. I’m getting bits & pieces done on the drives to & from the two houses (from the passenger seat), but there’s a lot to try to cram into a not very long drive.

Frustrating as it all is, it’s getting there.

This house is taking shape into a Home & it’s going to be fantastic once the move is done & dusted. And while there are moments where it feels like it’s never going to happen, & nothing is going right, they’re there – slightly buried under the grime & hidden behind the spanners, but they’re definitely there.

And, soon enough, this Home is going to Sparkle.

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